Barney and Fred write to Dick

Barney Rubble and Fred Flinstone:
An open letter to Dick Cheney.

Dear Dick,

It is obvious that your actions, mannerisms and speech patterns are cartonish at best. However, you’ve had business experience just like us. Our success of having the best selling cereal and having children addicted has been the driving force of our empire. It brings us joy when a toddler throws a tantrum in the middle of the cereal aisle wanting our products. Your advice on introducing highly hydrogenated corn particles covered with artificial flavoring and excessive amounts of sugars have made us a leader in cereal technology.

We write to you because our concern about your energy policy. Fossil Fuels are not the way of the future. We strongly advocate the return to foot powered vehicles. This technology is cost effective, provides zero emissions (unless you ate chili or visited taco bell) and can make the American automotive industry competitive again.

By the way how is your daughter doing? Betty and Wilma keep asking about her. I mean those gals really liked their sleepovers.

Returning to the point…Barney and I believe that a return to stone cylinder tires can boost the American economy. Since we are rich in rocky natural resources by using naturalization camps where illegal immigrants can shape the rock and wood parts of these vehicles by hand therefore setting a new standard of craftsmanship unparalleled in American history.

Please take this into consideration. We hope to hear from you.

Sincerely,

Barney and Fred