Boots is waiting

You might know me as Boots the Monkey in Dora the Explorer. I have to tell you folks that this is not the life. It is true that the little brown one (Dora) shaved the end of my tail and made me wear these nasty pink boots but hey, she pays the salary. Hell, I’ll even wear a tu-tu or a diaper if she wanted me to...I’m just waiting my time.

I’m her bitch on TV. You would too if you were paid what I get paid and have gone through what I’ve gone through. Besides, have you seen my relatives? These bastards are still hanging from trees, eating bananas and picking each others fleas. Screw that! I am rolling on a Benz eating stuffed flea mushrooms and smoking my grass. This is the life. No more public housing (trees) in the park. You won’t see this monkey eating or touching his own feces…I have a personal wiper, his name is Burt.

Let me be clear. I don’t like Dora. Don’t worry…one day she will get hers. My gorilla cousins will take care of that because revenge will be swift. When I started working for her it was cool until she wanted me to wear those f#@king pink boots. I said…”Hell, no beatch!” and threw them at her face. I remember a few things after that. It all happened so quickly. She ducked taped my mouth, stuffed me into her backpack who kept saying “Oh shit…you are going to get the “treatment”, darkness and a lot of pain from what I can only describe as some non-stop kicking. I kept coming in and out of conciousness hearing things like “Are you gonna wear them? Huh?!” Quien manda aqui? (Who’s the boss here?)…Then there was the buzzing sound of the electric razor. She whispered to me that she was going to shave me “down there” but I passed out. She only shaved my tail.

Right now, I am just waiting for my time. I know her cousin got his own TV show and that is another twisted story. But one day, on one episode, Dora is going to be missing and we will have a few seasons on trying to find Dora. She will “disappear” and me and the other characters will have to look for her. The Map is in on it so he will make sure her remains are never found making it exciting for kids and the evidence never to be found. In the meantime I’ll keep getting paid…and waiting my time.